Dopeless Hope Fiend

I couldn’t resist. My heart melted a little bit….

I couldn’t resist. My heart melted a little bit….

(Source: imgfave)

Stand by Me…. what a beautiful movie. RIP River Phoenix

Stand by Me…. what a beautiful movie. RIP River Phoenix

(via imgfave)

To Say I’m Freakng Out is an Understatement …

I don’t even have the words to describe everything that’s going on in my head. Just when I THINK everything is going to be okay. I get blind sided. I get knocked out of the clouds to the absolute rock bottom of my emotions. Then, there’s a trap door at the bottom and I fall farther. It’s out of my control. I need to understand that it’s out of my control. But, I want to take control & save him. It’s apart of being a sister.

We’re only 14 months apart. We’ve been through everything together. I wish I could take his place. I wish he didn’t have to go through this. I don’t really pray. I don’t believe in God. I do believe in a high power. Something greater than myself. I’ve been chain smoking and just saying over and over in my head “please, please, please, let him be okay. Let everything be okay…” I won’t know what’s gonna happen for another fucking month. I don’t know what to do…. I can’t do anything. I wish I didn’t know what was going on. Give me the ignorance back. It truly is bliss. Please, give it back.